Category: Let's talk
Hey I was listening to the radio a few weeks back and they had an interesting question. They were talking about weather it was better for parents to talk to their children about sex or letting them learn on their own, through other mediums such as T.V. or other friends. An overwhelming number f parents couldn't or wouldn't broach the subject with their children. What's the buzz?
For me, it was sort of a mix of both. My parents gave me this book about growing up and how our bodies change and sex and all that and told me to come to them with any questions. I didn't. Sex is a really awkward thing to talk about in front of parents. Mostly it's a subjedct confined to friends or chuckling to yourself over something somewhat dirty.
For me I got the talk after the deed had already happened. Some parents think that it is something for the school system to handle. Sex ed was a laugh now that I look back on it. Watching those old sixtys movies, the big ploomly dresses and the old time cars, that was a laugh. Then the teacher's face as the questions started. Classic! I didn't even know if the deed was done the first time. Chuckles we looked at each other and asked so did we do it? She looked at me and said your the guy you should know. I looked at her and said your the girl, you should know. We spent the next couple of days wondering what happened next. Well back to the subject at hand. I think it is something that if a parent is comfortable talking about, the child will be comfortable talking about it with them. I have heard some horror stories of parents trying to fumble through the talk, it becomes a lasting memory in the child's life for ever.
D-
My Mom did talk to me about it, but only after she'd "heard" that I'd already done it. I hadn't... It was totally embarrassing. I already knew pretty much what she was telling me from books and so on, and she was making it worse by offering to get dolls with the appropriate parts and so on...I wanted to die!
Hehe, I didn't even figure out how to, eem do this stuff, until my friend brought this very funny song in 5th grade that, well, explained it pretty much. I was totally shocked, then I picked up "the Valley of Horses" by Jean M. Auel, it was a part of a book series I was reading and, well, after her descriptions there was very little doubt as to what was going on. There were no warning lables, but the content of that book, in parts, was just foreplay ed 101, very useful. My parents never edcuated me but my 6th grade teacher sat us down and really went through this and she did a great job.
I did the same thing, stupid experimenting when I was 14 with a friend who was 17. We had been in a training camp for a big international swim meet and we got talking about sex, it happened that she was in a rented apartment and we were alone so we decided instead of talking we'd just act it out, it was kind of interesting for sure. I think, in retrospect, by 14 I wasn't ready and it wasn't that enjoyable, it was lacking the romance and all that good stuff, but it was kinda good though just to explore it without being too serious so I had a little bit of a clue 6 years later when I got into my first serious relationship.
cheers
-B
Witchcraft I bet that was enough to make your face red. Wildabrew do you think if you have had the talk from your parents it would have changed the age at which you tried sex? Does anyone on the zone have any stories where their parents were the ones to give them the talk?
Well, my sister really told me most everything. I remember in first grade, I didn't even think about it at all, I mean, I didn't even really wonder where babies came from or anything, I mean, I guess it crossed my mind but I didn't dwell. Then one of my friends told me a garbled version of what it was and I didn't understand at all! Lol! Anyway I don't remember how I really found out what it was. I think it was in fifth grade and we got this book all about it and I got it then. Before then, it had just been guesswork, and I'd never really wanted/needed to ask. Lol! It just didn't cross my mind to honestly. And my mom's pretty okay with talking about it, but I never want to lol! I know all I need to. And I would never talk about it with my dad heh! He doesn't want me to grow up. I wouldn't wanna upset him ehehehehehehe!!! Anyway, that's my take. I think it's fine to discuss it with your kids if they ask, but don't just randomly sit them down for "The Talk." That's just silly, unless, of course, you think they need to hear it, because they're experimenting or whatever. You know? Okay I'm done.
Caitlin
I definately think if you dont talk to your children about sex their curiosity will force them to discover it on their own and I dread to think of how...Certain generations and religions find sex very difficult to talk about....and this in turn makes for repressed unhappy and frustrated children.
It's hard to say. DF, No, I don't think so, at least I had been educated enough about protection and such like so that we were not stupid about it and, I mean, there was no harm done really. People are curious and, well, we have hormones. There are morales and things that might counter-balance those hormones etc but I think the instinct is pretty strong. I don't really egret having tried it, at least not in this safe environment, sober, with someone I could trust who did not have stds and such like. It would be worse to hook up with someone at a party, drunk and stupid. It's hard to say. I think it was easier learning about this at school in a group with other kids even if it was kind of awkward, I agree with Caitlin that sitting one down for "the talk" just doesn't sound right and sometimes you just don't really want to learn these things from your parents. My parents though did emphasize the protection aspect of it and not get pregnant/get someone else pregnant (I have 3 sisters, so I think they were more used to the female version of things).
I think it's just different for different people but it's definitely necessary to recognize this aspect of lief does exist and starts kicking in after you turn 12 or 13 (I mean the curiousity, not necessarily the full blown experimentation) and do something about it, who should do it and when that's the tricky part.
Do you really think children will be understand or more likely care about morality when their friends are talking dirty in front of them finding it all very funny...plus there is the problem of the internet and some parents use the net, as they use tv,as a tool to keep the children quiet ...we will be teaching Alasdair all about it and thats a rare occurance in stuffy Scotland.